MIL hell

So I could see this coming a mile away but no matter what I did I couldn't seem to stop it. My mother-in-law has been watching our daughter one day a week for the last few months and basically doing everything the exact opposite of the way I ask her to and now that my mom is getting ready to move up and we don't need her to watch our daughter she is throwing a tantrum about how she's never going to see her and basically pulling at my husband's heart strings so that she can get her way. Not to mention that she knows this will cause us to have a fight but ya know what does she care about my marriage if she gets her way. My husband and I have been fighting about something to do with his mom watching our daughter since she started watching her and I fear if I don't get us out of this cycle soon it will be the end of our marriage. Not to mention the fact that his mom defends the nanny and the fact that she left our daughter in a swing for about 5 hours out of a day! What kind of grandma would take the nannies side on that?

My next dramaful family Christmas

Well, I guess I figured if I could handle the drama of having a family Christmas with my dad's new "wife" then i could handle anything because I offered to host Christmas for my husband's family on Christmas day. The same family where his brother called me fat at nine months pregnant, the same family where his "sister-in-law" was our nanny and chose to leave our child in the swing for 5 hours out of the day, the same family where 2 of his brothers and his mom took the nannies side on the siuation and his mom called him behind my back and tried to get him to give the nanny another chance knowing that it would cause a huge fight between my husband and I if that happened! Well I don't know if it's Christmas spirit or if I'm just crazy but here we go again.....

Family Christmas

Well we had our family Christmas this past weekend and our actual Christmas wasn't bad other than being a little awkward. But the next day we were at the American legion post visiting Santa and someone was introducing my dad's "wife" to someone and with me sitting right there she made sure to throw in her new last name. She would't dare say something like that in front of my brother but she knew that I care enough about what my dad thinks that I wouldn't say anything. And I had actually started to feel sorry for her the night before because nobody was really talking to her. I just need to remember all the little "digs" she decides to get in when she can, which my dad swears isn't on purpose. I mean can't he see that everytime I tell him something bothers me that she brings it up to throw it in my face?

Baby's First Christmas

Well......I am so excited for my baby's first Christmas I can hardly stand it!! I know that she is only 4 months old and won't remember it at all but it is so important to me that she gets to do and see everything "special" about Christmas!! I have been researching fun and exciting events to do in the Kansas City area and areas nearby for kids and have found a few great ones. One is Deanna Rose Farmstead and it doesn't cost much either!! Anyone with other ideas let me know!!

Nanny Woes

So I thought it would be a great idea to have people I know watch my daughter while I went back to work. I guess that is what I get for thinking. I have a huge mess on my hands with more family and friend drama than I ever asked for!! I hired my husband's little brother's girlfriend (say that 3 times fast) to be my nanny three days a week and then my husband and I got the sneaking feeling that my daughter was spending too much time in the swing because everytime either of us walked in unannounced she was in the swing. So I mentioned to the nanny that my daughter didn't need to spend too much time in the swing......ya know we want her to roll over and crawl and stuff too. Then at 4 months she's not even attempting to roll over yet so I decide to set up a nanny cam just to see how much time she was spending in the swing and what I saw was shocking!! I kid you not if my daughter was not having a bottle or in bed for her nap she was in that swing all day, while my "nanny", and I use that word loosely, sat on the couch and text messaged her friends, changed her facebook status and made a cleaning list for herself when she got home. I was so mad I was shaking. I wondered, would the courts go lighter on me for hurting her because I did it in a fit of rage being a mean momma bear???? So now I have to fire the "almost" sister-in-law and try and keep my husband and his brother on good terms at the same time. I called her and told her about the nanny cam and told her we were sorry it had to end like this but we would be using someone else. My husband's brother eventually called and they got in to a huge fight, he was stating that you don't treat family that way.......Well what is my daughter, chopped liver? You don't treat family that way either but she did!! I am not really sure but I would bet that there is someone I could call to make sure she never does that to anyone else's kid that she nanny's for!!

Cleaning Company Ideas???

So my mom will be moving up soon and I am trying to help her get some leads for her cleaning company. Meanwhile all the business we get until she moves up will have to be handled by me. :( But it's nice to have the extra money. I am looking for any ideas anyone might have for drumming up some more business though!! I really want to make sure that she has enough to keep her afloat when she moves up. Thanks!!

My life, the Jerry Springer Show

Well, I suppose I should start from the very start if I am going to tell you this story. My parents, after 27 years of marriage, are getting divorced. It will be final as of November 21, 2009. I was told about it when I was about 6 months pregnant and about 2 months before my wedding day, they considered not telling me because of my "condition". So then come to find out my dad has a girlfriend and my mom has a boyfriend and just so that the situation could be a little more dramaful the boyfriend and the girlfriend are married...........to each other. Now, they got divorced and my parents are about to be divorced so that they could basically partner-swap each other. So as you can imagine I was a little upset about this new-found knowledge I had been so blessed to recieve. I have a little brother who is about to turn 24 in a few weeks and he was pretty upset about it as well. I don't know if it's because I was pregnant and hormones were all different but suprisingly I handled the "news" really well. I even let the girlfriend come to my house to visit with my dad and the boyfriend come to my house to visit with my mom. I think a big part of why I am trying to make it work as hard as I am is my daughter. I really want her to know her grandparents because I really didn't have that growing up and I was always jealous of little kids who did. So now I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Yesterday my dad made a comment that would lead me to believe that he and his girlfriend will be married pretty soon and I am torn between "being nice" and telling him my true feelings and thus possibly pushing him away from me and/or my daughter. I have tried to talk to him before and tell him my feelings and the most I can get back is an, "I'm sorry you feel that way". He kept saying that he wanted the divorce to be finalized so that the healing process could begin for me and my brother but I am beginning to think that he wanted the divorce to finalize for the same selfish reasons that he left and the same selfish reasons he didn't care who he hurt when he did leave........whether that be my little brother, my mother, me, my unborn child, etc. I then wonder.......someday will I be so self-involved that I too choose my wants and desires before anyone else's. Will my daughter someday think that I am so conceited and self-absorbed? Because he is my dad could it be possible that I too someday will not care about her her health or her feelings as much as my own? Could I have fallen heir to this obviously less than desireable trait?

The throat sighs!

So my husband and i have had this same argument so many times and he just doesn't seem to understand how hurtful it was. His brother made fat jokes towards me a week before my due date and not only that but did it in front of several other members of his family and no one but me seems to think this is a big deal. I mean who the hell does he think he is? He isn't the best looking guy around nor does he have some great body and he's never carried a child! My husband just thinks i'm blowing it out of proportion and making it a bigger deal than it needs to be and he isn't even standing up for me at all! Then he gets mad when i don't want to hang out at his family gatherings or have his family over because i still haven't lost all the baby weight. My daughter is only three months old how fast does he expect me to lose it? He said maybe i should work out. So, maybe i should but between working my four jobs and taking care of our daughter i just seem to be having the tiny problem of finding the time. But you know he's too tired to talk about anything or deal with anything or clean house because he works so hard at his one job. Okay that's my rant for the day. I do feel a little better just getting that off my chest.

Baby Laughs!!

I have to say that I think there is nothing, and I do mean nothing more adorable than the first time you hear your little baby laugh!! Leilani, my 3 month old, has started to actually laugh at things now and it could just be the cutest thing I have ever seen. No matter how bad my day was when I get home and hear that laugh I have to smile. I am seeming to have a problem letting go though. My husband wants to take her with him to his family thanksgiving, which I am not going to gor reasons I will explain another time, and I find myself making excuses for why she should stay home with me where it's safe. Is this normal????

Leaving is bittersweet

I have been at Side Pockets for almost 7 years now and I put my two weeks in last Friday. I cried when I told both of my bosses that I was leaving. My reasons for leaving are simple, I have a 3 month old baby who I would like to be able to spend more time with and I also don't want to get sick from the hundreds of people I come into contact with and bring something home to her. Last night we had a mandatory meeting where they discussed the holiday shifts and I can honestly say that I was so glad I had already put in my two weeks notice. You can imagine that working with a bunch of mostly female staff members can make things dramaful at times and no more so than when it comes down to who has to work the holiday shifts. I can't believe how mean they are to each other about it. Last year they tried to force me to work Christmas night when my family lives 4 hours away so that two workers could have off the same shift together and both of their families are in the area. It brought back memories of a time when I wanted to leave and reminded me why. So I would still say that I am going to be sad leaving a place that I have been a part of for so long, but I am glad to be going too.

Advice???

I don't mind when people give me advice on parenting, actually I welcome the advice. Obviously I am new at the whole mom thing and I don't mind hearing the different ways of doing things. What irritates me is when I listen to their advice but choose not to follow it, and they take it as a personal insult!! Or even worse, if they are not giving me the advice or asking my opinion and when they are around my daughter they just do their own thing as if they were raising her like she were theirs. I am trying not to come off as too harsh to these people, but this is my choice and I feel like they are trying to take that away from me. And if I have to hear one more time about how many kids they raised or how "fine" their kids are I am going to scream!! I don't mind the advice but I still want the final say of what is actually going to take place to be my decision as I am the one who had to get fat and swollen and carry her around for nine months!!

Monster In Law

I used to love that my husband was such a momma's boy because I thought that if he treated his mom so great that would mean he would treat me great as well. I have come to find, however, that it is a double edged sword. His mother is watching our 3 month old daughter one day a week and has repeatedly done things "her way" even after I have asked her to follow my schedule or do this my way and then she will just act like she didn't think it was that big of a deal or that she didn't know or forgot. And my husband takes her side on things every time!! I was happy that he was a momma's boy but I kind of thought that at some point he would let go enough to ensure the well-being of his child and his relationship with his wife.

Growing Up

At some point I have to wonder if we all come to a place in our lives where we think wow I sound, act and think "old". I hit that point over the last couple weeks. I feel like I am even older than I am. It does make it rough to hang out with people my own age and sometimes even years older than me b/c I feel like I just don't fit. I don't know if I am feeling this way because I am pregnant or if this would have happened anyway. Everything seems to be changing so quickly that my brain seems to have a hard time keeping up with it. Well as far as wedding news goes I just need to save another couple hundred to have everything paid for!! I am so excited I can't wait for it to just be that day already!! My mom is working on my dress, which I think will be gorgeous!! Everything seems to be coming together well.

Twitter

So I had been toying around with the idea of having a twitter account and finally decided one day when I was bored to just do it!! I now think that I am addicted to it. I LOVE that I can do it from my phone and I almost want to open my own business just so that I can do it under there too!! I have found some very helpful information on it here http://www.caroline-middlebrook.com/blog/twitter-guide-4-twitter-tools-platform/. I suggest anyone who wants an easy way to keep updated with friends, family, and the rest of the world join twitter too!! :)

Mood Booster

Ever have one of those days where it feels like everything is falling down around you? So I thought that today I might look for things on the web that boost my mood and share them with you. Well I ran across this today and thought the ideas here were absolutly adorable.

http://bridalcheek.wordpress.com/2009/03/05/a-picnic-wedding/

This website has some of the cutest ideas for weddings and some great inspiration!! I think it might just be my new favorite!!

http://junebugweddings.com/blogs/what_junebug_loves/

That is all for now more to come next week!!

Crunch Time

Well it is just under 4 months to go until the big day and I am definately feeling the crunch as they say!! I have gone over and over everything a million times and it seems like I just have a few things left to cover but I am still feeling very stressed about it. I would LOVE to say that I was done with it all and could not have to worry about a thing, but I would think that even if I had everything done I would still be worrying about it now anyway!! Well, wish me luck!!

Home Business

I am trying to come up with a good business idea. I want something that I can have some sort of income, a great tax write-off, and could really work at my own schedule kind of thing. I so far have come up with.....
1.) Helping my aunt with her photography
2.) Doing make-up on the side
3.) Making wreaths of wine cork as well as normal wreaths
4.) Scapping x-mas cards and selling them
5.) Some sort of baking or cooking style thing (although I don't think I am ready for any kind of "big" event)
If anyone has any other ideas I would love to hear about them!!

Talk about Stress!!

Well I have been trying to stay on top of getting everything done for the wedding and getting everything done for the baby that is to come 1 and 1/2 months after the wedding!! And let me tell you it has not been easy I have a To Do List as long as I am tall of things to get done and I have no idea where to begin. Unfortunately all the help I thought I had in the beginning has somewhat deminished!! I thought that by having one of my friends be the "wedding planner" that everything would still get done and it would be much cheaper for me but unfortunately they also are lacking in motivation to do things for "my" wedding and to be honest I don't blame them I am lacking in motivation too!! I am hoping that with the second trimester will come a welcome amount of energy that I can utilize to get everything done before I get tired again!!